Archive for the review Category

disney – wtf??

Posted in boooooooo!!!!!!, holidays, kill, MF08, parades, review on December 25, 2008 by sambycat
yeah ok. i am not a big parade person. and, ok, i get that disney parades on TV are aimed at a demographic that is decidedly not one to which i belong nor am i immediately related or involved with anyone who gives a whit about tween stars or the jonas brothers or what have you (well, my bff does enjoy HSM, but you know what i am saying).

however, one would think that, as a disney parks fan, blogger and podcaster and as an AP passholder with a tinkerbell tattoo on my left shoulder, well, that i might glean a few moments of christmas cheer from this mornings christmas parade “live” from the world. all i can say is “bah humbug”. wait – that’s not all i can say, i can indeed work up an ire worthy of 1500 or so words about how much it SUCKS and how pathetically BAD that 2 hour, over-produced, ass-kissing, money sucking, soul stealing waste of money, time and energy was – in fact, i can make the statement that, were i not the completely obsessed park fan that i am, if somehow all i knew of disney were that movies are made and there are places to visit, i dare say i would NEVER want to go there. i would, in fact, be all the people who look at me quite strangely when they find out i am going there. again.

so back to the first statement, i’m not a parade fan, or at least haven’t been one, although as my visits to the park have become more frequent, i have stopped a moment or two to check out a daytime parade and have seen spectro-magic – TWICE! i still run from anything involving pom-poms and cries of “let’s go wildcats!” however. i mean, i’m not completely brainwashed. But, given that it IS Christmas – and I am not at work at the moment – i thought i might get a kick out of just seeing the parks in the christmas finery – especially given that i was there (hello) on the day of filming.  check it:

so that annoying "what will you celebrate" ballon isn't CGI

so that annoying "what will you celebrate" ballon isn't CGI

firstly, there is barely an actual parade to be seen. the shots are cut up and so over produced. you do expect this, but c’mon. every character or gyrating cheerleader they show also gets a cut away to “audience” members nodding to one another in sheer delight and then returning their attention to the next wondrous float! oh the joy! we all know the stretch from the hub to the RR station ain’t all that far – even shorter of course for the DL parade – and i realize that it’s the money shot with the castle that grabs people’s attention, but even i do turn on the macy’s day parade and as bad as the patter and the same self-aggrandizing commercialism is there on thanksgiving day, well, this is worse. you get no sense of any parade, you get no sense of anything. well, i get a sense of every tween star shilling for the mouse and the “exciting new disney channel coming soon!!!!”, but, barring hearing, say mary poppins sing or noting -with the quick eye that only a fanatic has – that the DL pixie hollow might be kinda neat compared to the MK version…..

vs.

 

lookie! they painted the walls to look like trees! magical!!

pro: outlets! con: kind of bad painting over very temporary appearing pixie surroundings

 

why not show the damn parade, and perhaps quit referring to, oh, i don’t know, test track as “a new attraction”. hell, play the parade and then put stacy on. that would totally rock. dude! and then there’s the patter – ah yes – the patter…. well, again, you know its going to be bad, but this was two hours of relentless advertising so obvious, so dumbed down, so bad… what are they thinking????? of course, one will now be well aware of the new “what will you celebrate” promotion (OMG DID YOU KNOW YOU GET FREE ADMISSION ON YOUR BIRTHDAY! WOW! THAT’S UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!) – regis and kelly already know what they are going to celebrate!!!!!!!

 Regis “Absolutely! I mean, Joy and I are planning to come back here to celebrate the birth of our new grandson, William Xavier Sure”

Kelly ” And you know, I just want to celebrate that my entire family is happy and healthy this holiday.”

Regis “Absolutely! That’s something to be really thankful for!”

Kelly “For sure! (insert pause with head nod and smile here) Now let’s see what Ryan’s up to over in Disneyland!”

 Ryan “…(Beverly Hills Chihuahua) the greatest chihuahua movie of all time….”

perhaps i am just a grinch, a scrooge, a scrooge mcduck even, but it’s hard to imagine that if our man walt were here, it could still be quite this bad and unentertaining. there is so much at the fingertips of disney and abc – are all the imagineers locked in a closet somewhere? where they kidnapped by the evil henchmen of oogie boogie and hung over a pit of fire and bugs?

it’s so hard to stomach, i guess as i spend a christmas away from family and friends – at least geographically – and still being somewhat giddy with the GOOD MF contagion – the one that makes you feel all is well and you have all these wonderful, magical friends and that you were indeed just dusted with pixie dust (not the one that gaves us all the MF flu! 😉 ) – that THIS is what bubbles up to the masses for the holidays. indeed, as i said earlier, i can see how some families would see this and think – “why go there?”

do yourself and any loved ones a favor – turn off that heinous commercial and tune into anything about holiday and disney on, say, the travel channel. but then, i’m preaching to the choir here, right?

ok, let’s say 900 words….. bah humbug indeed.

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guest (ghost) post – review: chihuahua!

Posted in guest post, review on November 23, 2008 by sambycat

TRACE J. (AKA 999GHOSTS) KINDLY DID THIS REVIEW OF BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA FOR THE D-LIST. ENJOY!

After my Sunday morning run I found myself bored, craving movie popcorn (hold the butter) and with thoughts of Mousefest dancing in my head I needed some EFFIN’ DISNEY in my life and I needed it NOW!! Not that my house doesn’t look like Neverland Ranch on a lower budget. I swear this need was hanging over my head like a pack of migrating spider monkeys on a quest for the golden banana of Mara. Do not gaze into the eye!

Ok, so I yell out to the boy get dressed and brush your teeth. Yes, at the age of 15 I still have to inform my 15 year son to brush his teeth. I do not get it. Out the door we go for a snack and drink run. Diet Pepsi for me, the local movie theater of choice is coke products only. Just like the Disney theme parks, barf! The boy turns to me and ask, “Dad where are we going?”. “Well son that does like to brush your teeth we are going to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

The boy states he is not pleased with the choice and wished he would have brought his Game Boy. The boy knows his Father is a Jedi-Master-Badass-Disney-Dork and it was due time to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua while it was still on the big screen.

I will be honest. My Manhood felt a little in question when I looked at the girl in the box office and said, “two for Beverly Hills Chihuahua please and thank you”.

I went into this movie with very low expectations. I think I was more excited that I might get lucky and see a new Disney preview/movie trailer before the talking dogs in clothes that cost more than mine. There was a Bolt sneak peak! Very cool, I have my tickets to see Bolt in 3D this Saturday with all my local Disney friends, Dallas/Fort Worth NFFC Chapter. On a side note in March I was given a personal tour of The Disney Studios Feature Animation in Burbank California and was shown Bolt “in the works”! It was a dream come true to sit at a Disney Animators desk and watch scenes from Disney Feature Animation Features yet to come!!

The movie starts with the Disney logo and I’m so in Disney mode. The first of the movie I thought I was watching “The Dog Wears Prada”. High Fashion of the Highest Order! Chloe the lead actress/dog was voiced by Drew Barrymore. It was hard to “buy” Chloes’s voice, I could only hear Drew. I would liked it if Chloe was voice by Salma Hayek. You can take the Chihuahua out Mexico but you should be able to take the Latino out of the Dog. I’m just saying.

I will say now that I really enjoyed this movie! It was funny, sweet and a great family film! My son and I shared a lot of laughs together and that is what it is all about. Beverly Hills Chihuahua reminded me of Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco, which is a good thing.

Once Chloe finds herself accidentally lost in the mean streets of Mexico without a day spa or Rodeo Drive is to me when the movie became fun. Chloe runs into street dogs, an iguana and a rat. The iguana’s animation was worth the price of the movie. During the movie in my head I did hear the dead voice of Sid Vicious cover Iggy Pop’s I wanna be your dog. Papi (voiced by George Lopez) properly executed what I refer to as the “Maggie Maneuver“. Papi went for a henchman’s nose and hung on. (sorry Lisa).

Spoiler Alert!!! The entire movie I was on the edge of my seat waiting for the BIG Chihuahua song and dance musical entertainment extravaganza we all have come to love from the movie trailer. I’m sad to report the song and dance is not in the movie! I stayed until the lights came on in the theater and I did not have the pleasure of, “Chihuahua”.

If you are going to be a Mousefest please come up and say Hi!!!!

under the sea

Posted in pics, review on April 26, 2008 by sambycat

so, what do you think of the latest dream series portrait?mer

i LOVE it! not so much as disney/lttle mermaid homage per se – i just love the picture. i love julainne moore in it – though i guess theoretically she would be older than ariel not quite in the way i imagine mikhail baryshnikov is “older” than peter pan – but its a wonderful photo. dreamy and beautiful.

all in all, though i LOVE the idea of the dream series portraits and am glad they are being done. i think ms. liebowitz is a perfect, modern choice. i personally haven’t been bowled over by their “disney-ness”. i LOVED the beyonce/oliver pratt/lyle lovett “alice” pic, but otherwise, i’ve found them too literal or not disney enough.

case in point – LOVE tina fey. would have higher hopes for a modern tinkerbell interpretation. or that uber-goofy jessica biel/pocohontas/deer in the headlights shot. oy.

news flash

Posted in review on April 6, 2008 by sambycat

star wars parts 1,2 &3 pretty much suck. still.